A Guest Idea

Robby adds:

Do you know what would make my life perfect? If I could change the cursor on my command line to be pacman.
I would spend all day typing lines of full stops, then backspacing them.


. . . . . . . . . . . . . . >' )

The Dublin Hotel

I hope I never have to go to the dublin hotel ever again.

We had a work dinner there, and before that I'd had to go for a 21st. Work had gotten a prepaid drinks package - $1500 worth. Alright! Only one brand of beer. Nothing else. They refused to sell it to you in anything but a schooner.

It cost me a pretty penny getting there in a cab ($40, and $40 for Chloe to get us home), $55 for Chloe to eat, and what do I get?
Dry, tough old boot leather steak.
For $55 per head, you expect more than an old boot and rude staff, as well as useless choices of drinks.

The only other drinks I bought - $9 cowboy shots (fuck!)

I hate that pub. It's too pricey, the staff aren't friendly, and you have to travel so far.

Would I mind so much if I'd had more fun there? No.

Adobe Apollo

So much hype and excitement, and so little to show for it.

No Apollo for Linux, and I just happen to be doing a dist-upgrade to fiesty... So no trying for about 12 hours.

So off I go to read all about it, and what do I find?

<mx:TabNavigator
id="ContentNavigator"
width="860" height="540"
x="10" y="10" paddingTop="5" paddingRight="5" paddingBottom="5" paddingLeft="5">

<mx:VBox label="Articles"
  width="100%" height="100%"
  verticalGap="0" paddingTop="10" paddingRight="10" paddingBottom="10" paddingLeft="10">
  <mx:Box width="100%" height="33"
     backgroundColor="#B8AF9C" cornerRadius="15" paddingBottom="5" paddingLeft="10" paddingRight="5" paddingTop="5">
     <mx:Button label="Fetch RSS" click="RssService.send();RssLoader.height=30"/>
  </mx:Box>
  <mx:Box id="RssLoader"
     width="100%" height="0"
     backgroundColor="#B8AF9C" paddingTop="6" paddingRight="10" paddingBottom="5" paddingLeft="10">
     <mx:ProgressBar id="rssProgress"
        indeterminate="true"
        barColor="#B8AF9C"
        width="100%"
        labelPlacement="center"
        label="loading feed"/>
  </mx:Box>           
  <mx:TileList id="FeedDisplay"
     width="100%" height="100%"
     maxColumns="1"
     rowHeight="120" columnWidth="810"
     itemRenderer="ItemRenderer"
     dataProvider="{rssFeedData}"/>
</mx:VBox>

</mx:TabNavigator>

That looks suspiciously like far too much presentation logic in there. We've had CSS forever, why is there a mix of css-like attributes, javascript-like attributes and {funky templating}?
I'm beginning to think waiting for firefox 3 is a much better option, seeing as they already delivered offline cache support; while apollo doesn't even have it yet.

The Care and Feeding of Users III

Why don't they love us?

We get in the way of everything they are trying to do. We're less efficient than handwriting a report, we're less human than speaking with a valuer directly. We're the McDonald's of valuations - fast, cheap and not great for the diet.

When they deal with us, in IT, directly - they are 95% stuck, confused, lost and bewildered, and they've gotten through the maze of phone systems only to find a half demented, socially retarded, gibberish spouting loon on the other end of the phone.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, AM I IN MY SCREEN? YOUR MAGIC COMPUTER BOX HAS BROKEN MY DREAMS. FIX IT NOW OR I'LL HATE YOU.

There's no paperless office, there's only a confusing 37 step dance you have to do to put information into the computer; and what do you get out at the end? An accounting mishap which screws you out of 4 cents from every job, just because some REMF couldn't cast something to a float at the right moment! It's not the 4 cents that matter, it's the damned principle!

These bastards have broken every promise, screwed up every expectation, lost half of your wage, sent your report to the wrong people, given your sales away to joe down the street, and taken away your accounting tab for no good reason!

The Care and Feeding of Users II

So we know who we've got, but who the hell are we?


The best answer I have to date is this:

• We're understaffed
• Under pressure
• Underpaid
• Undervalued
• Overworked
• Overwhelmed
• Complicated
• Able to get an amazing amount of things done
• Able to understand what is tantamount to a second language
• Tired
• Poor communicators
• Stuck

.... and you know what?
One in a thousand of these people care.

The rest don't.

The Care and Feeding of Users I

This is a few notes for a talk I'm giving to some co-workers about the care and feeding of our users.

Who have we got?

• Pointy Haired Bosses
• Mortgagee Managers
• Typists / Admin
  
• Valuers
• Beancounters
  

What's a Pointy Haired Boss?

• Little or no awareness of their surrounds
• Doesn't accomplish much
• When they are given a problem to solve, they are so eager to solve it, they will be relentless. Generally the more petty, the more relentless.
  

What's a Mortgage Manager?

• These are our clients
• Stuck in IE6 land
• Trying to make a buck by spending a buck
• Technology is no barrier, if it's not working for them, they just want to fax it.

What's a Typist/Admin?

• Chief wranglers of the great white valuers
• Also stuck in IE6 land
• They do phones, appointments, typing and organisation
• More females than males
• Know about 5% of what this whole valuation process is about, and care even less.

What's a Valuer?

• Does housing valuations, usually at a % of the valfirm fee.
• Has to go through uni, and sign things
• Originally stuck in IE6 land
• Highly mobile
  

What's a Beancounter?

• Accountant
• Chief wrangler of finances
• Lives in MYOB or Quicken
  

No need to be sheepish

I cannot believe how little wikipedia has about shearing.

I need to improve and expand these articles.

Who'd have thought this stuff existed...

PEAR has a weekly bug summary published to the QA list.

Neat: the original ticket.

I know I'd sure put in patches / effort if the barrier to entry was a lot lower. Follow the discussion

Trac Whinge

I want an Autocomplete in trac. Or else!

Tales from Employees Past: The Tap

This is the story of a tap too far.

This individual was a much loved character who was reasonably new to the company and the English language.
Apparently, the list didn't end there, but contained a 3rd, and fairly crucial item.

Yes, humble readers, you've guessed it - the standard operating manual on how to operate your average Australian urinal.

We'd found numerous wet puddles in the gents over a number of occasions, and to be quite honest we didn't know who was doing it. I mean, who the hell has that bad an aim? Who would submerge the floor of the gents so shamelessly?

We all thought it was a little bit distasteful to be honest, and it wasn't until one particular occasion that someone was in a cubicle that insight came upon us.

We heard the distinctive breathing of the individual.

We heard the customary unzipping. The usual business proceeded.

Then the unusual business processed.

A great torrent of water was released. You could hear it, even if you couldn't seen.

It drew to a halt, and the individual washed up, and departed the bathroom.

Cautiously, the person in the cubicle emerged, and saw it.

Most people I know would have used the pullstring. Some would have looked for a button.
But not this individual - nope, for him it was and forever will be...

YOU SHOULD FLUSH YOUR URINAL WITH THE TAP