Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Dog Day Afternoon

What do you get if you cross a small horse, a sound a cow makes, and showing off to your neighbours?

I like to think of it as the all animal variety hour. It all began at the behest of my vegetarian girlfriend, who insisted upon a pasta bake which didn't harm an animal. Agreeing, I helped watched her make tea, then decided quite unexpectedly to have an idea.

"Dear," I said. "Why don't we walk Gus, the giant horse dog?". I paused. She paused. I belieive the air was sniffed, in search of the scent of treachery. However, seeing no major obstacles nor any way this could ruin tea, my partner agreed.
We fetched the leash, the giant dog, one or two beers for the journey, and set off to explore Rosewater.

Shortly after walking a mere 25m or so; I decided that frightening my neighbours with a small horse was not sufficient. How would I ever make friends with them? Would anyone at work believe my tall tails (cough)?

With this thought in mind, I set off to visit my neighbour and workmate, Brook. By set off, I don't mean to imply that I really had much to do with the direction we took: one Mr. Gus, Bullmastiff had more to do with that.

Luckily Gus may be as unfit as I am, and quickly tired around the location of Brook's house. I knocked on the door, surprised her partner; and proceeded to hold an impromtu dog and pony show. With only one animal. Playing both the part of dog, and pony.
After a short period, I realised that there was to be a mutual display of newfound pet ownership: Dex the Devon Rex Kitten was present.
I allowed him to claw me for a while, remarked on his corpselike nature, and scurried off into the uneventful night, Christina in tow.

Uneventful, did I say? On what appeared to be a quiet rosewater street, we decided to let Gus off the leash for a bit of Run-Between-One-Person-Pretending-To-Have-Food-And-The-Other. About three rounds in, dog still not tired, it all went wrong.
At this point, you see, a second dog joined the party. No collar, no owners, a black labradour who was in LOVE.
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